Then Whoa! I instinctively dropped to knees on the restroom floor. Am I going to deliver on the bathroom floor like to story I posted on my blog? I don't want to do that - it's dirty! The tub? Maybe. I don't want to move.
"Ahh! He's coming."
The Cowboy said there's hot water again. He could fill the bathtub. Okay.
"I'm scared. I'm scared," as I crawled into the tub.
Wait - what am I thinking. There's no time for a water birth. I realized I was scared of not having a water birth.
The water was comfortingly hot even if only four inches deep, continuing to fill. Then I was in control of myself again.
"This is not going to be a water birth. I don't want - it's too late. Turn off the water."
I told my unflappable husband, "You have to catch him."
Leaning on the somewhat slippery side, I thought I should have cleaned the tub again. Another wave was coming. I altered my team and leaned in but the pressure was disappointingly weak.
Then with a powerful contraction, I instinctively stood and propped one foot on the tub side. My doula held onto me.
Wise Woman asked my husband, "Is he there? Is he crowning?"
"Yes! He's there!" I stated. And to the Cowboy, "You've got to put your hands around his head to keep me from tearing. Harder!"
I draped over his shoulders. I felt the warrior. This is what I had been scared of - delivering out of the comfort of water. Yet here I was. And here he was!
"Jesus, please birth this baby. Jesus, please birth this baby," seemed the most natural thing to say.
The tremendous energy came and I welcomed, holding firmly without extra strain. I felt the tingling stretch. To my husband, "Help me not tear. Help me not tear."
Wise Woman: "Is his head out?"
Cowboy: "Just the top."
I felt the slick, glorious half moon of head.
Wise Woman: "Can you push a little?"
"No contraction. I'll wait."
I noted the burn and was content. This sensation I hadn't felt with the water births. I was experiencing something special, shared by many women.
Then a rush and quickly his head was out and with his head the water sack opened.
"Here we go, here we go. We can do this."
And one final love wave gushed him into the Cowboy's steady arms.