Everything seemed to point to my son being a big baby. It wasn’t just the ultrasound estimations or the fundal height measurements, both of which were extra large and both of which I knew to be wary of trusting. It was also that my body was having considerable difficulty carrying him. I was having contractions that were one minute apart at 7 months along. I was weak and short of breath just standing still. My heart beat irregularly to the point that I was referred to a cardiologist to have it checked out. I had even been put on modified bed rest the last few months of pregnancy. I believed he was as big as my doctor said. And, as much as it broke my heart, I believed my doctor’s recommendation was correct. C-section was the way I needed to bring him into the world.
I wasn't sad my baby boy was big (10 pounds 7 ounces big). After all, that meant he was like his Daddy (6 feet 4 inches tall). I was just sad I wasn't going to give birth to him the way I wanted to, the way I had planned to, the way I was prepared to. I was sad I wasn't going to labor and deliver him in the way I thought would give him the best start possible - unmedicated, vaginally, skin-to-skin immediately…
As I began to work through my heartbreak over this, God revealed to me that I had been making my son's birth too much about me - about what I needed to do to give my son the best start possible. While they aren't bad things (I still believe they are wonderful, beneficial things), they are small things in comparison to God's ability to give my son his best start possible. God’s actions are much more powerful than any of man's (or woman's).
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8I had to let go of the control that I had been clinging to, trust that this was what was best for my son, and know that the Lord would be holding him, even when I couldn’t.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6God used a circumstance that I desperately did not want to remind me of a truth that I desperately needed to remember. And now here I am reminding you, Mamas. God's got you. And He’s got your baby. And there are no better hands for either of you to be in, ever.
“This is what the Lord says – your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.” Isaiah 48:17
"In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." Job 12:10